Time and time again, one of the phrases I hear from my gentleman callers is how much they enjoy giving pleasure to a woman. And yet how few women willingly receive this touch and intimacy.*
What many people do not realise, is that the act of receiving is an art to be cultivated. It takes awareness, and a willingness to practise and deepen in the experience. Let me explain…
When one is in the giving role, there is a sense of action and “doing”. There is a road map, if you will, for this experience. We can assess how well – or not – the giving is going.
When one is in the receiving role, there is no road map for this experience, no way of knowing “how to do it”. It is a pure experience of being.
It is no wonder then that so many people struggle to receive, as it involves a “non-doing”. Our whole culture is geared towards doing so moving into a space of “non-doing” is initially like going against the tide. We have to drop all ideas of how the experience should look or should feel, and surrender to the mystery of existence.
Many people are scared to let go of control. If their body has been trespassed upon previously, then all the more reason not to trust in the experience offered. This is where compassionate communication, a strong sense of self, and a genuine knowledge about what feels good for your body, is essential.
Sadly, so many people- especially women – have not had the space to develop these qualities.
Imagine being with a woman who knows what she wants and who can guide you in giving her pleasure. Feeling her responsiveness ripple under your hands. Hearing her sounds of delight steer your actions. Knowing with unerring certainty that your touch is desired and fully enjoyed. Imagine how it would be when your giving was completely received by a woman…
*There are many reasons why a woman might not be open to your offering. If you are truly interested in discovering more about female arousal, I highly recommend reading “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski. A book with which all women – and those who love them – should become acquainted.