One of the things my clients comment on most is that I really love the work I do – and it shows!
Since I became a whore, I have had many beautiful, intimate and fun experiences with some truly wonderful men! I just seem to attract the ‘right’ kind of client. Men of discernment, men who love to give and receive pleasure, men of intelligence and good conversation, men who want to show a girl a good time!
So I’ve been reflecting on what it is that has helped me connect with such amazing men – making me a very happy whore! As my journey with whoring continues, there will be many more insights to share. But these are the first few that spring to mind…
Have positive regard for yourself
I take a lot of pride in my ‘work’ and consider myself an erotic explorer and sexuality professional. I invest time and money in developing my skills – whether in massage, orgasm techniques, or kink. I am fascinated by sexuality and what makes people tick. I want to support people in experiencing the fullest spectrum of the sexual expression. What a joy!
If you don’t love what you do then you won’t want to ‘show up’ in the experience. Some part of you will be detached and switched off.
I place a real value and worth on what I share with my clients. This means I want to bring my whole being to our liaison. I ask myself “What does he really want? What does he really need? How can I be the best possible whore for him?” And that means we have a lot of sensual fun together!
Have positive regard for your clients
Just as the stereotype of the prostitute is misleading and degrading, so it the stereotype of her ‘John’. I have yet to meet a client who is sordid and ‘desperate’, or even anything less than a loving and delightful man!
At the end of the day, we are all human beings and we all have the same basic emotional needs (although these may be expressed in a myriad of ways!) We all want to feel special. We all want to be noticed and recognised. We all want to be loved. And we all enjoy experiencing pleasure (which can also be expressed in a myriad of ways!)
I make a point of remembering that my client is a human being – just like me. And they want to be loved – just like me. It is beautiful to share that moment with them.
Turn down a client if they don’t feel right for you
This is a very empowering experience. Just because you’re a whore, doesn’t mean you have to be with every guy who comes your way.
If a client seems to want something different from what you offer – or can whole-heartedly do – then let them go.
There is no point in doing this kind of work just for the money, as tempting as that may be. Meet clients who you think you will have a good time being with. That way you can bring your whole self to the moment. They will feel the difference!
Communicate in the way you would like to be communicated with!
One of my life maxims is the phrase “treat others as you would like to be treated”. So in my communications I’m friendly, warm, loving and respectful. Lo and behold the clients I meet are friendly, warm, loving and respectful.
In fact many have become friends. People who I will happily continue connecting with beyond the moment of our meeting.
This insight also applies to the modes of communication. Sometimes I hear fellow sex workers talking about clients or potential clients as ‘time-wasters’ because they spent time talking on the phone with someone who doesn’t book. And in fact who seems to be getting off on talking to a whore on the phone.
There is a simple answer to this – don’t give out your phone number!
OK maybe it means you don’t get some clients, but to my mind someone who can take a moment to send a message is serious about meeting. Someone who wants to get to know you and explore our desires before meeting is going to be a lot of more fun when we get together. That’s the kind of man I want to get to know.
Take care of yourself
This is probably the most important point of all to be a really happy whore – look after your health and wellbeing!
One of the great advantages of being a whore is that you have control of your time to do the things you want to do! But it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking of have to be available to clients all the time and that you can’t live your own life.
I think it’s important to organise your time well. Make sure you eat lovely meals, look after your body, spend time with friends, spend time alone, and enjoy all that life has to offer. This is an amazing time to be alive and an amazing time to be a whore!
Speaking of which… it’s 33 degrees outside and I am off to swim in Hampstead ponds. Big love x