Category: Pleasure

The Joy of Giving: The Art of Receiving

Time and time again, one of the phrases I hear from my gentleman callers is how much they enjoy giving pleasure to a woman. And yet how few women willingly receive this touch and intimacy.*

What many people do not realise, is that the act of receiving is an art to be cultivated. It takes awareness, and a willingness to practise and deepen in the experience. Let me explain…

When one is in the giving role, there is a sense of action and “doing”. There is a road map, if you will, for this experience. We can assess how well – or not – the giving is going.

When one is in the receiving role, there is no road map for this experience, no way of knowing “how to do it”. It is a pure experience of being.

It is no wonder then that so many people struggle to receive, as it involves a “non-doing”. Our whole culture is geared towards doing so moving into a space of “non-doing” is initially like going against the tide. We have to drop all ideas of how the experience should look or should feel, and surrender to the mystery of existence.

Many people are scared to let go of control. If their body has been trespassed upon previously, then all the more reason not to trust in the experience offered. This is where compassionate communication, a strong sense of self, and a genuine knowledge about what feels good for your body, is essential.

Sadly, so many people- especially women – have not had the space to develop these qualities.

Imagine being with a woman who knows what she wants and who can guide you in giving her pleasure. Feeling her responsiveness ripple under your hands. Hearing her sounds of delight steer your actions. Knowing with unerring certainty that your touch is desired and fully enjoyed. Imagine how it would be when your giving was completely received by a woman…

*There are many reasons why a woman might not be open to your offering. If you are truly interested in discovering more about female arousal, I highly recommend reading “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski. A book with which all women – and those who love them – should become acquainted.

Mindful Masturbation: The Art of Self-Pleasuring

Last week I took part in a video project by a female porn film-maker. The intention of the project is to film sexually alive women enjoying “mindful masturbation”.

What this means is masturbation for the sheer pleasure of touching one’s own body. Self-pleasuring can be done almost as a meditation. Not for a goal of climax, nor going into performance for someone else, but natural self-loving.

Swimming deep in pleasurable sensations, my session lasted 53 minutes! It culminated the most delicious ‘energygasm’ where waves of orgasmic energy flowed through my whole body. I was tingling all over and totally charged up with cosmic energy.

If you would like to experience the aliveness that can come from making love to yourself, rather than getting yourself off with ‘hand relief’(Uuuuurgh – hate that expression!) – then here are a few suggestions for mindful self-pleasuring:
• Make the environment lovely for yourself – even simply lighting a candle can bring sacredness and specialness to the experience
• Set an alarm for a specific length of time and use this as your guide for exploration rather than the goal of climax
• Touch your whole body, not just your genitals
• Try out different pressure, strokes, rhythms and speeds – not just doing what you always do
• Pay exquisite attention to what’s going on inside your body, be with the sensations. Release any mental images or fantasies as you drop into your body
• Breathe deeply and fully to allow your body to open and expand into greater pleasure (Many people hold their breath when they get close to climax but if you keep breathing fully you will experience a deeper pleasure)
• Allow your body to move and undulate
• When the time is complete, if you wish to move towards climax (e.g. ejaculation) then go for it. Otherwise you can integrate the energy by breathing it up the body from genitals to the crown on the head with the inhale and down with the exhale

Enjoy!

 

 

Pleasure Portals

When my good friend, professional dominant London Faerie invited me to his ‘Pleasure Portals’ workshop and play party on Sunday, I just couldn’t resist.

London Faerie is a pioneer of ecstatic BSDM. Supporting people to “expand their bliss” and erotic experience through kinky practices and conscious play. He runs regular events where people new to the kink scene can find out about BDSM in a friendly and fun atmosphere.

Over 30 people gathered in the afternoon to learn about dominance and submission, sensation play (using floggers, paddles etc) and discovering how to express their deepest desires.

As we moved into the evening, we changed into our party clothes (me in a sexy basque, frilly knickers, stockings and ludicrously high heels!) and got ready to get wild.

All day I had my eye on a very hunky guy who wanted to explore being a dominant. But he was completely new to the role and didn’t know where to start.

Now I love being taken over by a strong man – but I was interested in exploring the dominant role too. The guy – who I will call Jason – was at least a foot taller than me and very well built. The thought of  ‘taking him down’ and having him as my slave excited me.

So I suggested to Jason that we play together. First I would dominate him – so that he could understand how it feels. Then he could dominate me and I would be his perfect submissive.

He said yes without a moment’s hesitation.

Leading him to a corner of the room I got him to strip naked, get down on his knees before me and submit to my will. This giant of a man became putty in my hands and fulfilled my every wish – including a very delicious session of foot worship which he carried out with deep devotion and lavish attention to my tootsies.

Then it was time for the change over…. And he really got his own back on me!

Jason gave my bottom one of the severest spankings I’ve ever had. All the while pulling my hair (love it!) and telling me what a sexy bitch I am (super love it!)

He made sure he got his pleasure too and made good use of my willing hands and hungry mouth on his yummy cock.

The party finished all too soon but we had both experienced a sexual dynamic outside of our usual preferences. And we both loved it!

At the end we left and went our own separate ways. No attachment, no need for it to be anything more than the fun it was.

But I think there will be a next time…

Orgasmatronic!

Hey there lover,

I thought it was time I start sharing some of my life with you. Why keep it a secret?

If you have met me, you’ll know that sex is my passion. And so I put a lot of time and energy into not just doing it, but learning more about it.

That’s why I spent last weekend training in full body orgasm techniques with an amazing group of juicy people.

The technique involves awakening sexual energy in the body. Most people think all our sexual energy is in our nether regions – but actually our sexual energy flows all through us. When we are really alive to sexual energy it can feel like you’re making love to the whole world.

One absolutely amazing thing I’d love to share with you is that the primary area of sexual activation for a woman is…. her throat!

Yes, a man will be more successful making love to a woman if he gives a lot of attention to her throat and neck area (thinking nibbling kisses). Only when she is fully aroused should you make your way down to her pussy. Then it will be electric!

Unsurprisingly for men the primary activation area is the groin – not just your cock but all the area around it. However, there were some other very interesting points to get a man going.

While practising with one other participant I discovered a delicious little spot behind the knee. He was so turned on he said it felt like I was stroking his cock!

So 30 people naked in a room for 2 days stroking one another to full body orgasmic bliss. Can you imagine it?

But it wasn’t all learning, after the workshop I went to a yummy hot tub party with some tantric friends. It was so much fun to play in the warm water while feeling the cold night air around us. Sipping champagne under the stars.

As more and more people got into the tub (we got 12 at one point!) it became practically impossible to work out which body part was whose and where it was going…

Legs, arms, pussies, hands, mouths and cocks rubbed against bodies in a delicious tangle of bodies…. sighs and groans of pleasure filled garden… waves of orgasmic energy washed over us… the perfect climax to a perfect day… xxx