Is it really “In his kiss”?
Darling Lover, it’s been such a long time since I’ve written a blog post and many of you have been clamouring to hear my words and thoughts again.
So I’m tackling a subject very close to my heart… the art of kissing! And an art it is indeed…
When done well, with awareness of the complex gateway of sensuality that the lips unlock in a woman, then kissing is a deeply erotic and intimate act. When done poorly, with schoolboy over-enthusiasm or tongue like puppy dog, then it’s an absolute turn-off!
There is a saying, “It’s in his kiss”. Women tend to place much more importance on kissing than men do, and believe it both indicates compatibility for a new partnership and increases longevity of the spark of romance in a relationship. Here are my guidelines to kissing a woman in a way that will put her in raptures…
A kiss starts long before the kissing starts
Let me begin with a little known secret about female arousal… the more secure a woman feels with you as a lover, the more sexually open she will become. Many men think they have to stimulate a woman into arousal but this is a very masculine approach to sexuality. When a woman feels safe and loved, she will blossom into arousal.
So look her in the eyes, let her know with your gaze that you admire her beauty, reach out, take her in your arms and pull her close. Nuzzle into her hair and sniff it, stroke the side of her face gently, cup her chin with your hand, and then…. decisively yet tenderly connect your mouth to hers. Savour the taste of her, let your lips linger on hers for a few seconds, then part.
Kissing involves the lips
This might sound like the most obvious of pointers, but it’s an important one. Kissing means that your lips connect together… If you come at her with a wide open mouth or, even worse, your tongue lolling out, then you are engaging in quite another kind of activity. Don’t confuse her, kiss her.
Fools rush in
Start the kiss gently and then build up momentum.
You might think that grinding your lips against hers and plundering your tongue into her mouth is an act of high passion. However, it’s more likely that she finds your over-enthusiasm startling and even a little bit scary.
A woman wonders, “If you are that rushed in the kissing department, what are you going to be like everywhere else?”
Give the kiss space. Build up the pressure and passion then allow it to subside again. Make her lips yearn for yours. It’s so much more sexy and seductive.
It takes two to tango
Kissing is a shared pleasure, not something that one person does to or at another.
(Well of course it can be this but that’s the kind of peck on the cheek you expect from your Great Aunt!)
So if your kissing consists of flapping your lips in the face of your partner, or licking frantically, then you are probably missing out on the more subtle sensations to be enjoyed together.
When you kiss, feel for the response of your partner. Meet their kiss with yours. Allow your lips to come into synchronisation with hers. Allow your breath to rise and fall together. It all makes the kiss more yummy.
Tongues are the dessert of kissing, not the appetiser!
Tongues in kissing can utterly erotic and mind-blowing. However, inserting your tongue too early and too quick will most likely be a turn-off.
In Tantric terms, a man’s tongue in the woman’s mouth is an act of penetration. Would you just walk up to a woman and expect to penetrate her? No!
Then please don’t stick your tongue in her mouth before you have aroused her with your lips.
When you feel the heat rising and want to take it to the next level, then gently and sensuously lick over her upper lip (possibly her upper teeth if her mouth is open) with your tongue. If she is ready to engage in some tongue tango, then she will respond accordingly. If not, then carry on with the lips. Perhaps try again later but don’t push it if she doesn’t meet your advances.
Take note; the most sensitive part of the tongue is the tip, so use it to maximum effect!
Take her by surprise
Kissing doesn’t only have to involve locking lips. Delight her by kissing her in unusual – but highly erogenous – places.
The nape of her neck (just below the hairline)
The inside of her wrist (try breathing here too for delicious arousal)
The crook of her elbow
Her ear lobes (a nibble and gentle suck on the ear lobes is also divine)
Your skills in kissing will mark you as a Master Lover. And that’s something every woman wants.