As he walks through the door he’s already pulling me close to his body. Our lips meet in a deep, passionate kiss.
We come up for air and smile at one another. Hand in hand we slowly make our way to the bedroom. Not a word uttered.
As we fall to the bed, our bodies intertwine. I look into his eyes and he gazes deeply back at me. Time stands still. As I see the beauty of this man lying under me, a bolt of pure love flies out from my heart. It strikes his heart and he returns it with equal force. Love flows between us like an electric current
In unison we release a deep sigh of satisfaction. An explosion of laughter erupts at the sheer joy of our deep connectedness. With sighs and moans and kisses and bites, our bodies seek one another out….
I love playing this moment over in my mind. It happened, not with a lover, but with a client. A beautiful, wonderful man who I had never laid eyes on before. Who paid me for sex.
Whoring could be a simple transactional affair. He comes, he pays. He cums, he goes. Yet I have never found it so.
In fact I have often found more passion, more depth, more beauty and yes even more love, in liaisons with clients than with other lovers.
In fact, it seems to me that the very limitations and boundaries that are placed on our encounters, allows us to love without limits.
Take a conventional romance. You meet, there’s an attraction. You go out on a date, maybe a few. You go to bed together for the first time. One of you takes a risk and says “I love you” for the first time. You decide that you are in a relationship…
Some of these or all these may happen. Perhaps in a different order. Maybe quickly, maybe slowly.
This kind of love is often conditional. We expect someone to fulfil our needs or follow certain ‘rules’ in order to prove their love for us. “If you loved me, you would…”
At the beginning of a typical relationship there are often many unstated expectations, needs and desires. And an unknown timespan for these to be expressed and explored. How soon is too soon to reveal who I really am or what I really want?
Sometimes they never get expressed at all for fear of scaring the other person off. In fact the thought that “this will end” can be an unspoken fear that means that you never quite show all the love you have inside you.
By contrast, the relationship between a whore and her client is clear from the outset. We each know the expectations, needs and desires and are willing in that moment to meet them. We each know how long we will spend together. There is nothing to be lost and everything to be gained from revealing ourselves fully as we possibly can.
Knowing that the ‘relationship’ does not exist outside the moment of meeting, means that there are no expectations. You can express the love inside you without fearing that I will make meaning of it. I don’t need you to call me three times a day or want to marry you within in a year.
The conditions of our meeting mean we can love unconditionally. We are free to give our all.
And so deeply into love we go…
Because it is our true nature. Underneath all our ideas of who we are and what we do, is the essence of our being. The deep desire to connect with another. To be seen fully as who we are and to see the other.
Those moments when you and I look deeply into one another’s eyes and know that we have nothing to lose, are the moments when we are free to express pure love. Love without conditions, loving without limits.