Category: Being a Whore

Everything changes…

Darling men,
Today is a sad day and a joyous day all mixed up together.

If you haven’t heard already, I am changing the way I do sex work and am no longer offering ‘full service’. I am still available for sessions with kissing, cuddling, caressing, connection, intimacy, mutual pleasure, erotic massage, sensual play, oral sex and orgasms. However, these will no longer involve full penetrative sex.

‘Why?’ I hear you cry!

Well, to cut a long story short I am in a relationship and deeply in love. My beloved also works within the field of conscious sexuality so he has been more understanding than most about my vocation.

In Tantric terms there is a powerful energetic connection set up when a man enters a woman’s body (and it is said that this energetic imprint takes seven years to leave a woman’s body!). My beloved and I want to deepen in our tantric union and this means that I can no longer have penetrative sex with another man.

So with sadness I change my profile details but with joy I know I can enter into a deeper, more committed, loving relationship. Thank you to all the men with whom I have enjoyed such beautiful moments of physical intimacy.

Here’s an interesting thing though… originally I was very resistant to the idea of giving up sex with other men and was deeply worried that it would affect my work. Then I took some time to look at the experiences I had been having and the men I most enjoyed connecting with. And lo and behold, the people and moments that stand out to me, don’t involve penetration!

Increasingly men have been contacting me looking to explore some hitherto unexpressed part of their sexuality. This might be playing with the power dynamics of dominance and submission. Or discovering their orgasmic potential through sensual massage. Or deepening in intimacy through tantric ritual. Whatever the experience, it’s been the journey that we have taken together that has been the priority rather than specific acts.

Let’s face it, many people have already had ‘sex’, or even have a sexual partner currently, but there’s something that they can’t get in their current situation. That’s why they come to me!

It’s an honour to be with someone as they explore and expand into their erotic self. It’s fun, beautiful, playful, exciting, deep, loving, sexy, delicious, intimate, hot, mindblowing and bodyblowing to play on the full spectrum of sexuality rather than just keep doing the same thing that we’ve always been doing.

Sex is way more than just the physical act of a man being inside a woman. Are you ready to embark on an erotic escapade or ecstatic encounter with me?

How to be a Happy Whore

One of the things my clients comment on most is that I really love the work I do – and it shows!

Since I became a whore, I have had many beautiful, intimate and fun experiences with some truly wonderful men! I just seem to attract the ‘right’ kind of client. Men of discernment, men who love to give and receive pleasure, men of intelligence and good conversation, men who want to show a girl a good time!

So I’ve been reflecting on what it is that has helped me connect with such amazing men – making me a very happy whore! As my journey with whoring continues, there will be many more insights to share. But these are the first few that spring to mind…

 

Have positive regard for yourself

I take a lot of pride in my ‘work’ and consider myself an erotic explorer and sexuality professional. I invest time and money in developing my skills – whether in massage, orgasm techniques, or kink. I am fascinated by sexuality and what makes people tick. I want to support people in experiencing the fullest spectrum of the sexual expression. What a joy!

If you don’t love what you do then you won’t want to ‘show up’ in the experience. Some part of you will be detached and switched off.

I place a real value and worth on what I share with my clients. This means I want to bring my whole being to our liaison. I ask myself “What does he really want? What does he really need? How can I be the best possible whore for him?” And that means we have a lot of sensual fun together!

 

Have positive regard for your clients

Just as the stereotype of the prostitute is misleading and degrading, so it the stereotype of her ‘John’. I have yet to meet a client who is sordid and ‘desperate’, or even anything less than a loving and delightful man!

At the end of the day, we are all human beings and we all have the same basic emotional needs (although these may be expressed in a myriad of ways!) We all want to feel special. We all want to be noticed and recognised. We all want to be loved. And we all enjoy experiencing pleasure (which can also be expressed in a myriad of ways!)

I make a point of remembering that my client is a human being – just like me. And they want to be loved – just like me. It is beautiful to share that moment with them.

 

Turn down a client if they don’t feel right for you

This is a very empowering experience. Just because you’re a whore, doesn’t mean you have to be with every guy who comes your way.

If a client seems to want something different from what you offer – or can whole-heartedly do – then let them go.

There is no point in doing this kind of work just for the money, as tempting as that may be. Meet clients who you think you will have a good time being with. That way you can bring your whole self to the moment. They will feel the difference!

 

Communicate in the way you would like to be communicated with!

One of my life maxims is the phrase “treat others as you would like to be treated”. So in my communications I’m friendly, warm, loving and respectful. Lo and behold the clients I meet are friendly, warm, loving and respectful.

In fact many have become friends. People who I will happily continue connecting with beyond the moment of our meeting.

This insight also applies to the modes of communication. Sometimes I hear fellow sex workers talking about clients or potential clients as ‘time-wasters’ because they spent time talking on the phone with someone who doesn’t book. And in fact who seems to be getting off on talking to a whore on the phone.

There is a simple answer to this – don’t give out your phone number!

OK maybe it means you don’t get some clients, but to my mind someone who can take a moment to send a message is serious about meeting. Someone who wants to get to know you and explore our desires before meeting is going to be a lot of more fun when we get together. That’s the kind of man I want to get to know.


Take care of yourself

This is probably the most important point of all to be a really happy whore – look after your health and wellbeing!

One of the great advantages of being a whore is that you have control of your time to do the things you want to do! But it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking of have to be available to clients all the time and that you can’t live your own life.

I think it’s important to organise your time well. Make sure you eat lovely meals, look after your body, spend time with friends, spend time alone, and enjoy all that life has to offer. This is an amazing time to be alive and an amazing time to be a whore!

Speaking of which… it’s 33 degrees outside and I am off to swim in Hampstead ponds. Big love x

A whore by any other name…

The other day I was having a conversation with a new client about the best word to describe a ‘working girl’. I told him that I prefer to be called a ‘whore’ and he told me that I was too lovely a lady to be a whore. As lovely I am, I bristle at that comment. Firstly as it implies that you can’t have sex for money and be lovely at the same time. But also as I choose to reclaim the word ‘whore’ as my own!

Personally I can’t stand the word ‘escort’, even though it is widely used. It seems to me a kind of euphemism of what sex work is really about, and that is lacking the kind of honest that I would like to experience in my life. While I am open to the idea of actually escorting lovely men wherever they might want to go, this has only happened on very few occasions. Most men see me for love-making, intimacy and ultimately sex!

Consider some of the other words available….
Prostitute – has a kind of legal connotation and sounds depressing
Hooker – Americanised street walker. No thank you!
Courtesan – intellectual, cultured and high class but perhaps a bit pretentious

By contrast, the word ‘whore’ has an juicy, deep, sexy sound to it.

The word can be traced all the way back to the prehistoric Indo-European root ka- ‘like, desire.’ According to some sources (just Google ‘whore’ and you will find this) the word seems to have split into several different meanings. For the first, the word evolved into a younger Indo-European root karo which in turn led to Latin carus‘dear’ and Old Irish cara ‘friend.’ From this we get English caress, charity, and cherish, all of which have (or can be have) very wholesome and endearing definitions. The second path created another later Indo-European root, kamo, which eventually became Sanskrit kamah ‘love’ that we are all familiar with from the Kamasutra.

Tantric master David Deida, one of my heroes, uses the word (written as ‘whoor’ and rhyming with ‘tour’) to talk about a fully sexually alive and attractive woman. The guru Osho encouraged his devotees to can chant the word ‘hoo’ to energise the sex chakra (energy centres). So when you say ‘whore’ in this way, you are activating that sexual energy.

For me a ‘whore’ is all woman – a sexual and sensual being. I love being a woman, love being a whore, love sharing my desire and love, love be caressed and cherished by you wonderful men, and love expressing my juicy, deep, sexiness with you.

A whore by any other name just wouldn’t be the same.