How to be a Happy Whore

One of the things my clients comment on most is that I really love the work I do – and it shows!

Since I became a whore, I have had many beautiful, intimate and fun experiences with some truly wonderful men! I just seem to attract the ‘right’ kind of client. Men of discernment, men who love to give and receive pleasure, men of intelligence and good conversation, men who want to show a girl a good time!

So I’ve been reflecting on what it is that has helped me connect with such amazing men – making me a very happy whore! As my journey with whoring continues, there will be many more insights to share. But these are the first few that spring to mind…

 

Have positive regard for yourself

I take a lot of pride in my ‘work’ and consider myself an erotic explorer and sexuality professional. I invest time and money in developing my skills – whether in massage, orgasm techniques, or kink. I am fascinated by sexuality and what makes people tick. I want to support people in experiencing the fullest spectrum of the sexual expression. What a joy!

If you don’t love what you do then you won’t want to ‘show up’ in the experience. Some part of you will be detached and switched off.

I place a real value and worth on what I share with my clients. This means I want to bring my whole being to our liaison. I ask myself “What does he really want? What does he really need? How can I be the best possible whore for him?” And that means we have a lot of sensual fun together!

 

Have positive regard for your clients

Just as the stereotype of the prostitute is misleading and degrading, so it the stereotype of her ‘John’. I have yet to meet a client who is sordid and ‘desperate’, or even anything less than a loving and delightful man!

At the end of the day, we are all human beings and we all have the same basic emotional needs (although these may be expressed in a myriad of ways!) We all want to feel special. We all want to be noticed and recognised. We all want to be loved. And we all enjoy experiencing pleasure (which can also be expressed in a myriad of ways!)

I make a point of remembering that my client is a human being – just like me. And they want to be loved – just like me. It is beautiful to share that moment with them.

 

Turn down a client if they don’t feel right for you

This is a very empowering experience. Just because you’re a whore, doesn’t mean you have to be with every guy who comes your way.

If a client seems to want something different from what you offer – or can whole-heartedly do – then let them go.

There is no point in doing this kind of work just for the money, as tempting as that may be. Meet clients who you think you will have a good time being with. That way you can bring your whole self to the moment. They will feel the difference!

 

Communicate in the way you would like to be communicated with!

One of my life maxims is the phrase “treat others as you would like to be treated”. So in my communications I’m friendly, warm, loving and respectful. Lo and behold the clients I meet are friendly, warm, loving and respectful.

In fact many have become friends. People who I will happily continue connecting with beyond the moment of our meeting.

This insight also applies to the modes of communication. Sometimes I hear fellow sex workers talking about clients or potential clients as ‘time-wasters’ because they spent time talking on the phone with someone who doesn’t book. And in fact who seems to be getting off on talking to a whore on the phone.

There is a simple answer to this – don’t give out your phone number!

OK maybe it means you don’t get some clients, but to my mind someone who can take a moment to send a message is serious about meeting. Someone who wants to get to know you and explore our desires before meeting is going to be a lot of more fun when we get together. That’s the kind of man I want to get to know.


Take care of yourself

This is probably the most important point of all to be a really happy whore – look after your health and wellbeing!

One of the great advantages of being a whore is that you have control of your time to do the things you want to do! But it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking of have to be available to clients all the time and that you can’t live your own life.

I think it’s important to organise your time well. Make sure you eat lovely meals, look after your body, spend time with friends, spend time alone, and enjoy all that life has to offer. This is an amazing time to be alive and an amazing time to be a whore!

Speaking of which… it’s 33 degrees outside and I am off to swim in Hampstead ponds. Big love x

A whore by any other name…

The other day I was having a conversation with a new client about the best word to describe a ‘working girl’. I told him that I prefer to be called a ‘whore’ and he told me that I was too lovely a lady to be a whore. As lovely I am, I bristle at that comment. Firstly as it implies that you can’t have sex for money and be lovely at the same time. But also as I choose to reclaim the word ‘whore’ as my own!

Personally I can’t stand the word ‘escort’, even though it is widely used. It seems to me a kind of euphemism of what sex work is really about, and that is lacking the kind of honest that I would like to experience in my life. While I am open to the idea of actually escorting lovely men wherever they might want to go, this has only happened on very few occasions. Most men see me for love-making, intimacy and ultimately sex!

Consider some of the other words available….
Prostitute – has a kind of legal connotation and sounds depressing
Hooker – Americanised street walker. No thank you!
Courtesan – intellectual, cultured and high class but perhaps a bit pretentious

By contrast, the word ‘whore’ has an juicy, deep, sexy sound to it.

The word can be traced all the way back to the prehistoric Indo-European root ka- ‘like, desire.’ According to some sources (just Google ‘whore’ and you will find this) the word seems to have split into several different meanings. For the first, the word evolved into a younger Indo-European root karo which in turn led to Latin carus‘dear’ and Old Irish cara ‘friend.’ From this we get English caress, charity, and cherish, all of which have (or can be have) very wholesome and endearing definitions. The second path created another later Indo-European root, kamo, which eventually became Sanskrit kamah ‘love’ that we are all familiar with from the Kamasutra.

Tantric master David Deida, one of my heroes, uses the word (written as ‘whoor’ and rhyming with ‘tour’) to talk about a fully sexually alive and attractive woman. The guru Osho encouraged his devotees to can chant the word ‘hoo’ to energise the sex chakra (energy centres). So when you say ‘whore’ in this way, you are activating that sexual energy.

For me a ‘whore’ is all woman – a sexual and sensual being. I love being a woman, love being a whore, love sharing my desire and love, love be caressed and cherished by you wonderful men, and love expressing my juicy, deep, sexiness with you.

A whore by any other name just wouldn’t be the same.

Loving without Limits

As he walks through the door he’s already pulling me close to his body. Our lips meet in a deep, passionate kiss.

We come up for air and smile at one another. Hand in hand we slowly make our way to the bedroom. Not a word uttered.

As we fall to the bed, our bodies intertwine. I look into his eyes and he gazes deeply back at me. Time stands still. As I see the beauty of this man lying under me, a bolt of pure love flies out from my heart. It strikes his heart and he returns it with equal force. Love flows between us like an electric current

In unison we release a deep sigh of satisfaction. An explosion of laughter erupts at the sheer joy of our deep connectedness. With sighs and moans and kisses and bites, our bodies seek one another out….

I love playing this moment over in my mind. It happened, not with a lover, but with a client. A beautiful, wonderful man who I had never laid eyes on before. Who paid me for sex.

Whoring could be a simple transactional affair. He comes, he pays. He cums, he goes. Yet I have never found it so.

In fact I have often found more passion, more depth, more beauty and yes even more love, in liaisons with clients than with other lovers.

In fact, it seems to me that the very limitations and boundaries that are placed on our encounters, allows us to love without limits.

Take a conventional romance. You meet, there’s an attraction. You go out on a date, maybe a few. You go to bed together for the first time. One of you takes a risk and says “I love you” for the first time. You decide that you are in a relationship…

Some of these or all these may happen. Perhaps in a different order. Maybe quickly, maybe slowly.

This kind of love is often conditional. We expect someone to fulfil our needs or follow certain ‘rules’ in order to prove their love for us. “If you loved me, you would…”

At the beginning of a typical relationship there are often many unstated expectations, needs and desires. And an unknown timespan for these to be expressed and explored. How soon is too soon to reveal who I really am or what I really want?

Sometimes they never get expressed at all for fear of scaring the other person off. In fact the thought that “this will end” can be an unspoken fear that means that you never quite show all the love you have inside you.

By contrast, the relationship between a whore and her client is clear from the outset. We each know the expectations, needs and desires and are willing in that moment to meet them. We each know how long we will spend together. There is nothing to be lost and everything to be gained from revealing ourselves fully as we possibly can.

Knowing that the ‘relationship’ does not exist outside the moment of meeting, means that there are no expectations. You can express the love inside you without fearing that I will make meaning of it. I don’t need you to call me three times a day or want to marry you within in a year.

The conditions of our meeting mean we can love unconditionally. We are free to give our all.

And so deeply into love we go…

Because it is our true nature. Underneath all our ideas of who we are and what we do, is the essence of our being. The deep desire to connect with another. To be seen fully as who we are and to see the other.

Those moments when you and I look deeply into one another’s eyes and know that we have nothing to lose, are the moments when we are free to express pure love. Love without conditions, loving without limits.

Pleasure Portals

When my good friend, professional dominant London Faerie invited me to his ‘Pleasure Portals’ workshop and play party on Sunday, I just couldn’t resist.

London Faerie is a pioneer of ecstatic BSDM. Supporting people to “expand their bliss” and erotic experience through kinky practices and conscious play. He runs regular events where people new to the kink scene can find out about BDSM in a friendly and fun atmosphere.

Over 30 people gathered in the afternoon to learn about dominance and submission, sensation play (using floggers, paddles etc) and discovering how to express their deepest desires.

As we moved into the evening, we changed into our party clothes (me in a sexy basque, frilly knickers, stockings and ludicrously high heels!) and got ready to get wild.

All day I had my eye on a very hunky guy who wanted to explore being a dominant. But he was completely new to the role and didn’t know where to start.

Now I love being taken over by a strong man – but I was interested in exploring the dominant role too. The guy – who I will call Jason – was at least a foot taller than me and very well built. The thought of  ‘taking him down’ and having him as my slave excited me.

So I suggested to Jason that we play together. First I would dominate him – so that he could understand how it feels. Then he could dominate me and I would be his perfect submissive.

He said yes without a moment’s hesitation.

Leading him to a corner of the room I got him to strip naked, get down on his knees before me and submit to my will. This giant of a man became putty in my hands and fulfilled my every wish – including a very delicious session of foot worship which he carried out with deep devotion and lavish attention to my tootsies.

Then it was time for the change over…. And he really got his own back on me!

Jason gave my bottom one of the severest spankings I’ve ever had. All the while pulling my hair (love it!) and telling me what a sexy bitch I am (super love it!)

He made sure he got his pleasure too and made good use of my willing hands and hungry mouth on his yummy cock.

The party finished all too soon but we had both experienced a sexual dynamic outside of our usual preferences. And we both loved it!

At the end we left and went our own separate ways. No attachment, no need for it to be anything more than the fun it was.

But I think there will be a next time…

Orgasmatronic!

Hey there lover,

I thought it was time I start sharing some of my life with you. Why keep it a secret?

If you have met me, you’ll know that sex is my passion. And so I put a lot of time and energy into not just doing it, but learning more about it.

That’s why I spent last weekend training in full body orgasm techniques with an amazing group of juicy people.

The technique involves awakening sexual energy in the body. Most people think all our sexual energy is in our nether regions – but actually our sexual energy flows all through us. When we are really alive to sexual energy it can feel like you’re making love to the whole world.

One absolutely amazing thing I’d love to share with you is that the primary area of sexual activation for a woman is…. her throat!

Yes, a man will be more successful making love to a woman if he gives a lot of attention to her throat and neck area (thinking nibbling kisses). Only when she is fully aroused should you make your way down to her pussy. Then it will be electric!

Unsurprisingly for men the primary activation area is the groin – not just your cock but all the area around it. However, there were some other very interesting points to get a man going.

While practising with one other participant I discovered a delicious little spot behind the knee. He was so turned on he said it felt like I was stroking his cock!

So 30 people naked in a room for 2 days stroking one another to full body orgasmic bliss. Can you imagine it?

But it wasn’t all learning, after the workshop I went to a yummy hot tub party with some tantric friends. It was so much fun to play in the warm water while feeling the cold night air around us. Sipping champagne under the stars.

As more and more people got into the tub (we got 12 at one point!) it became practically impossible to work out which body part was whose and where it was going…

Legs, arms, pussies, hands, mouths and cocks rubbed against bodies in a delicious tangle of bodies…. sighs and groans of pleasure filled garden… waves of orgasmic energy washed over us… the perfect climax to a perfect day… xxx